I swerved left and right at slow 20 mph. The Jeep Wrangler dipped deeply to the sides, much more like a dingy in waves than a car on steady land. The shocks of my rental were worn out. I wanted to at least get a feel for the jelly pudding of a car on the deserted airport ancillary road before hitting life traffic. It was my first time in Hawaii. What? Was I going to pass up on the chance to ride around on the island in a convertible fun toy? Of course not! I had worked hard and waited long to save up vacation days for this vacation.

The Google maps printout was pinned underneath my thigh. The trip would lead me half way around the island to the vacation resort Center K. The sun had dimmed for a gentle dawn gray. I passed the lava fields of the Kona side on a smooth road. Cars drove in friendly groups down the street. Fun music was playing through the stereo. The air through the open window was playing with my curly hair. I breathed in the fresh air of liberty and island bliss.

My journey turned East to leave the vacation resort area to climb up to Waimea, the cowboy city. Local cowboys are called paniolos. One of the largest ranches is up here in the high land. Past Waimea was a pleasant road lined by tall trees on both sides. Coming to the windward side meant more plants. The trees were very happy and lush.

Shortly, later the rain hit. I curbed up the window as fast as I could to keep the fat rain drops that were exploding on my left arm from coming in. The old windshield wipers left a medley of streaks that reflected the red backlights of the car ahead like a kaleidoscope. A fog bank hit us, the car and me. Amid the rain, bad wipers, and fog, I could barely make out the liners of the road or the car ahead. I made the tense calculation between slowing down and following the car ahead, where I could see the bumpers. If I'd slow down, I might drive off a cliff not being able to see that the road turned. By following the car ahead, where I could barely see the two red dots, I'd at least know that there was something ahead of me.

Everything turned worse. I felt the tense decision to either stop middle in the road, because I could not even see a shoulder next to me or take it on faith. The fog cleared up. I could see again. We hit another fog bank. I made it across to the western coast and turned south to a winding road. There were more fog banks with rain. Only this time, the tension made my brain hurt, because of the curvy cliff roads. A little ahead of Hilo, the big city, the weather became pleasant. The rush hour traffic had given way to the loneliness of night traffic.

A little after Hilo, I turned onto a small road to head into Puna. Puna is the most Westward part of the island. The land is so newly formed from lava that no insurance company will protect buildings. So, there are barely any commercial buildings. There were no street lamps. There was thick jungle forest on both sides, because it is the rainiest part of the island. The road was smooth, pitch black. It went up and down over hills like a gentle roller coaster ride for little kids.

Finally, I hit the open ocean. The road hit a T-intersection. Ahead was the ocean pitch black, calm, and heavy. It spoke of such serenity. And, I had made it through the long journey across the foreign island in this bouncy castle of a truck. Just a few more miles to the entrance of the resort Center K. The road was single lane. An oncoming car meant putting two tires on the dirt aside the road in this thick jungle forest.

The entrance gate was evident in the jungle with no other gates or buildings around. The key code from the welcome e-mail opened the gate. I drove onto the compound. I found the key in an envelope outside the reception house. After disturbing a few people in quiet chats on the compound, I located my building and the room within it. It was a simple room, perhaps a little ramshackle. The bathroom door could not open, because the bed blocked it. I hit the mattress, peace out.

The next morning, I properly checked in. I went for a run up the road. It was a marvelous jungle with thick plants and tree frogs singing. Every once in a while the road curved near enough the ocean to see it. A thick downpour hit me. I knew that it would rain a few times a day. That's why Center K was the only resort in this part of the island. The rain was luxuriously warm. I took off my t-shirt and rolled it into a thick ball to keep it from getting wet. The raid was streaming down my pecs and hot back. I felt like a man.

Lunch was served on the lanai. Lanai is Hawaiian for patio. There were big wooden tables that encouraged hotel guests and workers to sit together. I got my food from the buffet. It was delicious. I politely kept to myself to avoid intruding on other people. Yet, my ears grew into giant Dumbo flaps, when I heard the hottie behind me talk about self-pleasure. She was talking about how she was moving the sexual energy along her spine. A guy opposite to her told her that he would do that as well, yet he'd circle the energy around his kidney as well. Apparently, were taking tantric classes together. I am so in the right spot to be in open minded and sensuality embracing company, where people openly talk about that stuff.

At the end of my table was a guy with white safari shorts and a colorful Hawaiian shirt. The most notable was his lawyer face and the big circle ear ring, a clear clash of styles. Another guy came from the buffet. He was dressed exactly the same, had the same look on the face, and the same big golden ear ring. They tenderly mouth kissed each other and touched each other. With shock, I realized that they were not some silly musical duo, but married. This was a married couple. It was so strange, like two identical copies that had found each other.

Feeling great from the wonderful food in my belly and being in paradise, I went down to reception. I inquired, if there were any dirt roads, where I could break the rental agreement and let the Jeep go wild. The receptionist only knew of paved roads. C'mon, this is Hawaii! However, she told me that the owner knew about a lot of adventures. She called him down. The owner was a tall and fit guy with trim haircut.

"Sorry, I don't know any off road trails. However, do you want to come with us and play naked volley ball on an abandoned banana plantation? I'm going in a little bit."

Hey, I know an adventure, when it comes knocking. I strolled round the resort to look at the pool, lawn, and amenities. When I returned, there was another resort guest. He was a white, gentle, thin guy. He was my age, mid-twenties. His name was Derik. We got into the owner's big SUV. Rather than a rough Jeep Wrangler, it was a cozy leather upholstered urban truck.

Experiencing the single lane road was a thrill. The owner would not slow down for oncoming cars. He'd steer half of the road on to the dirt on the side, hit rain puddles and foot deep grass. With one hand, he'd give the shaka signal -- a fist with the thumb and index finger pointing in opposite directions, a warm island greeting. Along the jungle road was walking a single tall, muscular man with many tattoos and overabundant piercings on his ears and nipples. His shirt was off. The owner rolled down the window: "Are you going for naked volleyball? Do you want a ride!"

"I guess, it must be pretty obvious with nothing else around," replied the stranger and got in.

A short rough road off the public road, we arrived at a volleyball court on a jungle clearing. There was a roof structure of corroded metal nearby. The volleyball court was full of mostly naked man. Just a couple were wearing shorts. Under the roof structure, where the only two women. They were massively heavy, the size of two people. I bet that none of the straight guys would have paid them any mind. Here among the gay guys, they were welcome, because their attractiveness did not count.

To be honest, I love adventure. I love nudity. Though, I feel a little shy about just stripping naked with a bunch of guys that I don't know. And, I am afraid of people hitting overtly on me or finding out that I am actually straight. It's a bit like an adventurous zoo to me. I mean not that gay people are animals. However, they are a bit foreign to me. And, I like to be able to pretend to be open minded by having gay friends.

Though, all of my hang-ups were quickly gone. A match had finished. I was invited onto the court. My mind was focused on the ball. I did not pay attention to the pistol and balls dangling around. Though, I did cherish that everyone was so much friendlier than at straight volleyball games. Each point scored had such a supportive hooray of high fives. Even though, I barely knew those guys, I already felt appreciated like only good friends do. And, they had such friendly rules. When someone missed the serve, they called it the princess rule and let him try again. I love that kind of humor. I love that kind of being allowed to be close and happy with other guys. I secretly enjoyed not having to be tough around guys. I kind of wished that I would also get a friendly swat on my butt. However, they did not know me to be sure that I would be okay with it. And, I guess, I was pretty quiet around them to not signal that I was a wild guy wanting it.

Two hours quickly passed. The owner had to get back for work. Not really knowing where I was, I preferred to get a ride back with him. I spent the rest of the day exploring the resort and taking a swim. The next day, I would strike out on a day trip.

I got up early. I was all ready and sitting on the stairs, when the conch shell was blown to announce the beginning of breakfast. At the end of the breakfast buffet was a lunch bag with peanut butter jelly sandwiches and my name on it. I was munching on breakfast overlooking the lawn and sitting in a cheap white plastic chair. The smell of citronella was heavy on my skin. I had missed spots yesterday and gotten bitten by the mosquitoes.

Derik recognized me and sat down with me. He was an IT worker from Portland. He seemed to be pretty gay, yet didn't seem very much out of the closet at home. I did not probe into it. He was very excited about being in Hawaii at a resort that was open for gay people. We exchanged facts and expectations about Hawaii.

A chubby black girl joined us. She was very open about being a Lesbian and her hardships of working on a navy boat. She impressed on us that she was a good boss. She would want to let her people leave work early, when they got their work done. However, she had gotten in trouble for that, because the military police had found her people leaving the boat early. She was a good fellow. She had a colorful flower in her hair and casual flip flops on her feet.

Munching down on the last bits of fresh ocean fish, I told them about my Jeep Wrangler and planned adventure out to a remote beach. It supposedly required a 4WD to make it there. The beach was supposed to be with green and on one end and red sand on the other. In between, the sand colors blended. Best of all, during the week, the beach was supposed to be completely empty, because it was so hard to get to it. Derik reacted excited. And, I invited him along.

A few minutes later, the two of us were driving West. We hit the rain forest part of Hawaii. It was raining of course. I kept the roof down. Driving fast enough the windshield created a space of rain protection behind it. We hit one red light. If it hadn't changed any sooner, I'd have almost pulled up the roof.

Derik was sitting next to me. He was neat. He had a backpack fixed with all his stuff. When the rain stopped, he pulled out a compact camera and started snapping photos. The small talk came easy. I don't even remember what it was. He seemed to be another middle class white boy like me. Both of us being in IT, we were kind of timid and polite.

Making it past the center of the island, the trees spread out. At first there were singular trees with giant big crowns. Then, the grass landscape took over with little trees that were leaning to one side. They were really drawn to one side from the constant sea breeze. The houses got quaint. The air was cool. I was glad about having an extra sweater. We passed the turn off to South Point, the most southern place in America. Our turn off was a few miles ahead.

The odometer of the truck told us that the dirt road on the left was ours. I hit it, excited about the tire hitting the hard packed dirt. The grass was arid. There were gentle bumps in the road, not even a passenger car would wheeze at that. A mile down, we got to a cattle gate. We opened and closed it. The road was immediately rutted. If I'd hit the rut, it would swallow the whole tired. There were soccer ball sized smooth round rocks to navigate. I loved it. The car was swinging left and right. After hitting my head once on the rollover bar, I learned to lean into the center to avoid any swings hitting me again. The CD skipped occasionally. I found the skips only a cheer to try to make it skip harder. Derik held onto a handle and smiled in happy silence.

Five miles of shaking and bouncing and we had made it to a little dirt parking lot. Being hungry from driving, I proposed to have our lunch. We strolled down a sand slope to the beach. We sat down on our towels. We held the peanut butter jelly sandwich in both hands.

I looked around. The beach was not as glamorous as I had imagined. The beach was a horseshoe shape between two rocky hills. It was kind of small. The sand was really coarse. It wasn't very sandy. Yet, it was a little too fine to be called pebbles. The color on the green and red was kind of weak. It was more a gray with red and green hints. However, I was on a green and red sand beach in mother fucking Hawaii. I better be happy and stop nit picking. So, I smiled and starred out onto the ocean and the soft waves that carried in. There was almost no beach break. The waves swapped onto the beach gently.

Breaking out of the small talk, I had built enough of a relationship with Derik to say something more profound.

"I have never experienced another man. I mean, I'm not even gay. I am just kind of curious. Like, it doesn't turn me on. I just kind of would like to know what it is like some day."

Derik looked at me cautiously. His eyes were pausing before he spoke.

"Why don't you try it out right here?"

"I guess there is nobody around. And, if somebody comes, we'd here the car before they come down the slope."

It was one of those strange moments. On one hand, so many things are so close, yet so distant. Any time, I stare at a girl's boobs, she could just lift her shirt and show them. It's one easy motion. When I am with a girl, we could just have sex instead of watching a dumb movie. However, those things never happen. It's like a big taboo. Right now, I could experience male intimacy. It felt so unreal. I was afraid that I had heard wrong. I so didn't mentally prepare for this. It's like getting an oil change and the mechanic telling you to pop down your pants.

"You know, I might be all weird about this, because I am straight and I might have big hang-ups. I really don't want to mess you up by reacting weird."

He thought about it. He was silent. His jaw was moving around.

"I see that could be a risk. However, I am here in Hawaii at this awesome beach. I could get lucky here, right on this awesome beach. And, it could be a mind blowing memories for the rest of the year, when I am crawling around server racks. It is worth the risk. Just don't let me walk home 60 miles."

"C'mon, I won't be a jerk like that. It's more that I might pull away in the middle or feel really weird."

Without saying another word, he pulled down his bathing trunks. He was completely naked on the beach. I took a big exhale. Wow, being naked in public! He did it so naturally. It was such a clear signal that I wasn't misunderstanding.

I pulled down my pants. I felt naked. I could feel the air and breeze around my genitals. There was a strange freedom. Yesterday, I had left my pants on, because I had feared an unwanted and embarrassing erection. Now, in this context, it was okay to get an erection. I felt happy about not having to worry. I felt happy to have the cool breeze caressing my ass. I felt the thrill of running naked on a beach. It's like this little dose of adrenaline that makes normal life stop and puts you in the happy adventure world.

He walked a few steps down to the water. I watched his naked ass. It was ghostly white. He had dimples on both sides of his butt cheeks. He was a bit hairy on the legs. His erection was quickly growing. I almost felt a little behind. However, I knew as an admitted straight guy, I did not have to get an erection from seeing him naked. He said down right where the waves would splash his butt a little bit.

"Can I take a close look?" I asked him.

He had the biggest smile, when he agreed. That's what he enjoyed, another young man staring at his penis. I lay down on my belly in between his legs. I had known a few pussies from eating them for hours. However the only penis, I had ever known, was my own. I was curious, if other, his, penises were the same. I was resting on my elbows and looking onto his groin.

There was the head of his penis. The front of the head was shorter and the back (the part closer to his belly) was about twice as long. It looked kind of like a fireman helmet that was long in the back. I looked at the pink skin right around the opening. I saw the thick blue veins. I saw the ripples. His penis was at full erection. His penis seemed just half inch longer than mine and a little skinnier. I had to lift my belly to compare. His pleasure-filled face broke out an amused smile.

"Can I touch it?"

"Oh my god, I thought you'd never asked."

I gingerly reached out with my index finger and thumb. I gently felt the skin. The surface skin was thin and a little squishy. Beneath the skinny squishy layer was a rock hard erection. The skin felt very smooth and a little sticky. I remembered in six grade biology, the female teacher had told us that the penis skin is mucous skin. I had never understood that, because a penis skin doesn't ooze snot like a nose or vagina does. However, feeling the slight stickiness, I kind of got it. Derik's eyes were a little big with rapt enjoyment. My gingerly, explorative touches seemed a bigger turn on for him than an experienced hand. I guess, I was the innocent virgin here.

"When I pump my penis, it feels good. Would you like me to do that on you?"

"Oh yeah, lots of times!"

"Derik, actually, I am really curious about what your penis tastes like. I don't know where that is coming from. But, someone being so close to the penis, I... I..."

He rolled out a warm, loving, long "yes."

I was almost giddy like a little kid. I had smelled the musk smell of his erection. I was really wondering, what a penis tastes like. Would it taste sweet like candy? Would it taste like nothing much at all? After all, it was just skin. The thrill of crossing over into gay land was also making my hard pump. It made it hard to control my breath. I just didn't want to be panting all excited on his penis. That would be like so odd. I mean, touching a penis is one thing. However, once the penis is in your mouth, you are kind of beyond being able to deny that there is a little gay in you.

Fuck it, I just had to state it. I stuck out my tough. I gingerly touched his penis. Derik flicked his penis unconsciously once, because the erotic tension must have gotten too much for him. I tried again. I rested the tip of my tongue on his penis. There wasn't a strong candy taste to it. It was more like a subtle, very welcoming skin taste.

I put my lips on his penis softly. His penis was still standing on his own. I barely pushed the penis a little closer towards his belly. I glided my tongue down the shaft to see, if there were any areas on his penis that tasted differently. I felt the urinary pipe in the middle of his hard erection. There was something very beautiful about the penis. I mean, I never noticed, because everyone always frowns on penis pics. However, being so close, seeing the soft curves and beautiful geometric ratios, I kind of fell in love with it.
I took deep sniffs through my nose. I kind of like what I smelled down there. It smelled musk. It smelt like my father, familiar, home, and safe. I kind of rolled my tongue around a bit to give him a little play. I tried to provide at least a little good lip service. My lips opened wide to take in half the width of the shaft and glide up and down.

Once you got your mouth on someone's dick, it's kind of too late to have a lot of discussion or worry about appearing gay. So, I just swallowed his whole dick in my mouth. I just took it all in. Of course, I didn't get it all into my virgin mouth. However, my mouth was full of dick. Imagine that, my mouth was full of dick. And, I loved it.

It reminded me of a time, when my little sister went through her teasing phase. We had these gel filled rings in the refrigerator. There was something about the density of those rings that really made you want to chew them. And, that was the point: get my baby sister to chew on the cool rings to help her with the teething pain. Derik's dick had a similar thing in my mouth. Something about the feel of the dick, it's density, the smoothness of the skin, the taste, that whole combination made me instinctively want to mouth his cock. It's like I couldn't get enough. I had to swirl my tongue around it. I had to press my lips on it. I had to take it in and out. I was just going crazy about it.

I stole an eye away from his pubic hair to see his face. His eyes were barely open and glaced over. My eyes wondered down his pecs and belly muscles. He was young like me and had perfectly smooth skin. Something inside me must have gotten horny, because he started looking better and better to me.

My body was half immersed in the warm ocean water. Waves kept moving alongside me. Sometimes, they lapped high enough to lick my naked butt between the butt cheeks. I loved it. This was my happy place. I was working on rhythm. There was something so satisfying about moving my mouth down on his cock. It gave that pleasure that one gets from drinking water after a long run. I was trying to get my mouth movements right to get more of that oral satisfaction out of Derik's cock.

"Hey, ease up. I'm about to come. I don't want to freak you out by coming in your mouth."

"No, give it to me. This is a onetime thing. I want to experience it all the way."

Derik sank back. I knew that I had to up my game for match point. I sucked the air out of my mouth hard. Derik uncontrollably and gutturally moaned. I had never heard such a sound before. I felt it churning my stomach at a visceral level. Then, his penis pulsed in my mouth. I pressed down one more time fast. The spurts shot in my mouth. It wasn't actually that dramatic. It was more like an oozing.

I savored the taste in my mouth. I myself had played with changing my diet to give the ladies a different taste. Meat and protein makes jizz taste bitter. Cheese is about the worst thing that one can do to the flavor of sperm. Carbohydrates of vegetables gives it a sweet taste. His sperm taste wasn't very refined. He seemed to eat all kinds of stuff, including bad candy. However, I still enjoyed the complexity of the taste.

At this point, I was kind of over it. However, I knew that after care was important. I know that after orgasm the penis gets very sensitive. So, I lovingly licked his cock clean like a cat cleans herself. He really appreciated it. His face was so changed, so relaxed, so full of personality, so happy. He was also a bit sweaty.

"Thank you, darling."

"Oh, you're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really did it mostly for myself. I don't even know how to give good cock."

"Trust me, you are an all-star."

I blushed a bit. I felt relaxed about blushing around him. Such girlish thing was not judged so harshly around gay guys. I had learned yesterday on the volleyball court that being around gay guys meant that I could relax more and just be normal without trying to be tough. I have a very competitive streak that I keep secret to avoid appearing like that guy. However, this compliment really scored points with me.

"Do you want me to give you a little pleasure?"

"I don't know. This is a point, where I am really weird like I warned you about. I am really afraid that maybe if I do, I'll become gay."

"Would that be such a bad thing to find out?"

"Okay, you are all cool about being gay. But, I really like girls. I really like starring at their dresses. I love boobs. I don't want to lose that."

"It's okay. We don't have to."

"I kind of want to. My high school teacher told me that a lot of artists are bi. It's something about bi-people being able to access more parts of their brains. And, that makes them more creative."

"That's kind of a weird reason. But, if you want to become a bi artist, I could make you one."

"Okay. Just, if I have a drop after coming and act weird, really just give me space to become normal."

"Okay, my little virgin boy."

I kind of like to be teased. I smiled it. He grabbed my shaft. My penis had been hard all the time that I was eating him. I am not gay at all. I don't know what it was. I was just hard. And, now his whole mouth swallowed my penis. It felt warm, wet, and delicious all over. All my pleasure centers in the brain were firing. It felt exactly like the mouth of a girl giving me a BJ. And, a BJ tends to feel better than vagina, because there is more sucking, more pressure to it. I felt the same urge to be turned on. I felt the drive to come in his mouth.

Please, lord, don't make me become gay. I thought about Pavlov's behavioral experiments, where he conditioned dogs with treats. Good lord, Derik was conditioning me with this pleasure to liking guy's eating me. Shivers and tingles were running through my lungs from the intensity of wet touch on my penis. I tried to visualize the last time Sandy, my ex had gone down on me. Then, I felt his strong, manly hands on my naked it butt. The feel was so different. I kind of liked it.

I kind of liked how direct we could be. I liked how I didn't have to romance Derik like a girl. I didn't have to be careful about saying the right things. I knew his pleasure, he knew my pleasure. There is this directness. There is this lack of anxiety of trying to do it right. There is the lack of anxiety that 90% of the women never have an orgasm. He exploded in my mouth. My penis was burning like a powder keg.

I dared to be vocal. I let out a groan. The groan mixed with all the pleasure that I was feeling. It came out all guttural. Derik congratulated me with his mumbling, stuff mouth. It felt so warm and fired up that I was happy. I let out a serious of little moans to release the energy that his swift strokes gave me. Then, he sat for a long, slow, sultry down rush. I hummed the intense feeling out from my belly. I closed my eyes and saw a rainbow of colors whirling around.

With girls, I always liked dirty talk. I was going to go all the way. I breathed, "suck me, Derik. Suck me hard." He turned even more eager. His hands were fingering and caressing my groin, thighs, and ball. It was like his touch set free more energy to make my penis feel even more.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" I groaned out.

His arms wrapped around my lower back. He pulled himself onto me as hard as he could. He got within an inch of swallowing my whole penis. The skin all over my body burned. It felt like I was being skinned alive, in a good way. I had memories of an Indian movie in my mind, where someone was suspended from a pair of hooks in the air for a spiritual shaman ritual. I felt intense tingles beneath my skin everywhere. My breathing was so deep.

And, then Derik's smiling face appeared. He had a little of my cum on his lips. He was licking his lips to get it all in. He was so happy. And, then I started crying. I cried about all the beautiful girls, all those party girls in clubs, all those girls in bikinis at the beach that I would be losing, if I kept going on this path. Without the rush of horniness, I felt Christian guilt. It was all welling up in me. A couple tears rolled down my cheek.

I reasoned with myself that if I were truly gay, I wouldn't mind losing girls. If I still cried over losing girls, I was still straight or at least bi. And, that Christian guilt thing is so outdated. I pulled myself together.

"Sorry, Derik. It was really wonderful. I loved it. Let's go for a swim."

We went into the water, butt naked. I laughed how we were flaunting the world by running around naked. I thought about the stiff people in my office back home, if they knew that I was running around naked, they'd choke to death. You know the first thing about the water was that it felt cold. However, once you were in, it was okay. It was kind of lukewarm. You know that water kind of washed everything away.

Water always does that. Swimming is like flying in water. Your whole body is suspended in water. There is not a single point like the feet that you are standing on. Feeling the water freely on my butt was so freeing. My penis had hardened again. My strong strokes made the flag pole swing left and right. It was such an odd feeling. I laughed. I laughed at the thought that a fish may be nibbling on it.

I swum over to Derik. We were treading water in the warm ocean next to each other. I gave him a hug. "Thank you so much for this experience." I just had this feeling of appreciation in my chest. And, I could express it with a hug. I felt his chest muscles. I felt so happy about being able to hug another man freely, not just a chest bump. I could hold him tight and really transmit my feeling of gratitude. That was so freeing. I am not in love with him. However, I randomly like people. And, I always have to hold it back. And, here naked at the beach with gay Derik, I could freely show my feelings. I felt so happy and free.