I have had a lot of sex. Most of it great, some of it not so great and then one terrible, horrible, cringe-worthy experience. So while I could sit here and write about one of the former times, it’s the latter that I choose to tell you about today. And please note, dear reader, that I’ve only shared this story with one other person – my bestie. You’ll soon see why. My first mistake in this experience was flirting with a guy I worked with. You know how they say you shouldn’t dip your pen in the company ink? Well there’s a very good reason for that – if it goes wrong, you still have to face each other daily! My second mistake involves automobiles. Now I don’t know much about cars (if you ask me what type of car I drive, I’d say a maroon one), but I do know that a guy who drives a car that looks like a cockroach, should be avoided at all costs. Well I know that now. I mean really, what sort of dork would willingly, nay proudly, drive a car that resembles a creature most people will happily squash with a thong (the footwear type, not the lingerie type)? Looking back, on some level I must have known the evening would turned pear-shaped as I took a bottle of Jim Beam with me when I went to his place for dinner. That was probably the best part of the evening actually – the dinner. Lasagne. Not home-made lasagne, but the type you buy in the frozen section at Coles or Woolies. That’s right, dear reader, store-bought-frozen-lasagne was the best bit of the night!! After dinner and a glass of JB & coke we settled in to watch ‘The Commitments’ (remember? It was voted Best Irish Film of All Time in 2005??). Anyway, towards the end of the movie he decided to start making a move on me. Now I’d love to tell you that after extended foreplay, we moved to the bedroom where we made sweet, sweet love – but alas that didn’t happen.