I've been thinking about misconceptions. All the misguided ideas I've had about sex (anal, fisting, toys, orgasms, homosexuality) all these years, simply because I was told something or believed something early on and never ventured to find out for myself if it was true. I really feel like I've missed out on a lot because of that. Perhaps that's why I'm so eager to try new things now. Not to mention that we're burning daylight here ....
Here's some examples / stories:
New Openings I have been so penis / vaginal-centric, that it honestly never occurred to me that anal sex could be a great pleasure on its own. I always assumed it was a poor substitute for the 'real' thing.
That's ignorance and arrogance all rolled into one.
I'm so over that now. Anal is my new frontier. I'm gradually educating myself and preparing to explore. There's a lot to think about. What will go in? A finger, dildo, plug, or penis? Or maybe all of the above. And how? Will they fit? It seems awfully cramped in there right now. And there's lube testing to be done, understanding which lubes work best with what, and which ones are dildo destroyers (sounds like a good name for comic book villain). This girl has a lot of homework to do.
The other idea planted in my head by an email story this morning (thank you) was me doing the Caveman in the ass. I'm completely uneducated in this regard as well. Would we use a finger, a dildo/strap-on, a plug, or what? What kind of anal would he want and how would he want it? Obviously it would be his choice. Would he even want it?
I have a feeling we're about seven solar systems away from making that contact, but the thought of it is really h.o.t. for m.e. Caveman has never mentioned the anal urge, except to tell me he once tried inserting something while masturbating. He said it was alright but didn't become a regular contributor to his self-pleasuring repertoire.
Perhaps he'll want to have another go at it when we get some adult toys. If it could feel for him anything like it feels for me, he'd have something up there most of the time. Or maybe he does, who knows?
I also see how there could be some fisting in our future. Sometimes when he's getting me off and he's doing strong manual penetration, I notice his fingers seem to multiply in there. To the uninitiated (like me), the word 'fisting' does have a painful, almost violent sound to it. But when I am all over Caveman in bed and he's bringing me to moan and scream and cum and say funny things, I could definitely see it going that way. Sometimes more is more. In the right heated moment, I could see myself riding that sexy pony.
Welcome to Toyland I always feared sex toys, particularly ones that get inserted, because I thought I would stretch my vagina to an undesirable size (not sexy / erotic). I think I got this idea from my mother who didn't have that problem from sex toys but instead from having *a lot* of children. She eventually needed reconstructive vaginal surgery to be able to have intercourse. It was a horrible time for her and it planted fears in me.
I don't worry about that now. If it's safe and pleasurable, count me in. Or put it in. I'm easy. In fact, invite the whole team in. Twice. And don't forget the rechargeable batteries.
Orgasms I thought that an orgasm was a self-contained package of pleasure with a beginning, middle and end.
Ha! I now know that I can have dozens in a the course of a few hours of sex, and they are definitely not linear. Some orgasms build and pile on top of each other, some come screaming out of nowhere all on their own. And with Caveman, we've not yet ever come to the sign at the side of the road that says, Ok, Orgasms Done For the Evening. He always manages to find another one in me. At some point we just have to decide to be done because I never really am. Thank god he's so generous with how long we do go.
Last night's erotic story. I had the kind of orgasm that goes on for a very long time (half an hour or more). If the right stimulation continues after I cum/scream/moan/gush wetness all over his hands, I keep getting off. If his hands stop, the orgasm is actually still sitting right there waiting to shout Boo! I used to get this a lot in masturbation but last night was the first time I noticed the Caveman ringing that particular bell.
Friends With Benefits I have had several lesbian friends. Some really wanted to be sexual with me. At the time, I could not imagine having sex with a woman. One friend I really loved but could not translate that into sexual desire.
In an attempt to entice me, she gave me a most memorable story of eating pussy that I have ever heard. It was incredibly sensual sexy story, but I felt not a tweak in my own pussy for her. The way I feel today, if I was single and in that situation, I'd be naked before she could even finish asking the question.
But that was then and this is now, so instead I fantasize about my girl at the library (notice she's mine now? lol) and prepare for the next adventures with the Caveman. Which should be in about seven hours from now in case you're counting. I know I am.