Even though I’ve been married for what feels like my whole life, I have always—well, since college—had an active gay love life. Working in Manhattan has allowed me every kind of temptation I could possibly want, right at my fingertips. My job as a lawyer earns me the salary to pay for my every whim. And lately, all of my whims have brought me to a little bar on Seventh Avenue where a lot of young jocks hang out.

I stopped into the place quite unexpectedly one day when all I wanted was a stiff drink, and I looked up and saw the sign swinging in the wind. I entered the establishment and first noticed the hot Latin bartender behind the bar. He was pouring whiskey over ice and his dark eyes came up to meet mine. They lingered on me for a while. Then he leaned his crotch up against the bar and the light caught his muscles. My dick instantly grew rock solid under my dark grey suit. I moved my briefcase to my other hand and scanned the rest of the patrons in the bar—all young men with muscular bodies. They stared at my expensive tailored suit and my European shoes, and I felt as if I could have any man I wanted—all I had to do was saddle up next to one and show some interest.

I am a 50-year-old man who has been married to a very nice woman for over twenty years. I attend charity events and have one of the best records in the country for performing pro bono work. Features about my cases often appear in the New York Times; and furthermore, since college I’ve been picking up hot young men in public places and I’ve been sucking their dicks off.
My first gay experience was in college, as I have said. Until then, it had never occurred to me to approach a guy. As a young man, I had stared at my male friend’s taut abs as he played under the hose. One afternoon, I remember, I became terribly fixated on a neighbor boy’s shwang as it grew hard under his wet bathing shorts. Other boys kept trying to engage me in conversation as we pushed off each other’s wet hard young bodies, but my eyes and my mind kept returning to that one wet cock. I remember wondering if I had had any part in making it grow hard against my neighbor’s stomach. He caught me staring, and he reached into his pants and adjusted his member as I watched. From then on, I have been attracted to cock, but I never did anything about it until college.

Freshman year, my roommate Tom was a corn-fed baseball player from the Midwest. While I studied, he lifted weights on the bench he had set up in our dorm. Concentrating on pre-law theory became impossible when he would begin his reps. At first, I was afraid he might notice that I was only pretending to read my textbook. In reality, I was staring at his muscles tighten and release, tighten and release. I was wondering if it was normal, how my dick swelled up to the consistency of concrete when I watched my male roommate. I wondered if he would notice if I began to stroke my cock. I so needed to rub one off. I had heard that college was a four-year orgy, but that first semester, my cock spent the entire time swollen to attention, not having been touched since my high school girlfriend gave me a goodbye hand job. I was daydreaming about walking over to Tom and putting my hand on his thick thigh, when his deep voice said, “Can you come over here and spot me, Saul?” I coughed in surprise and walked slowly to his workout area. I tried to hide the fact that my dick was as stiff as a sword, but it seemed as if Tom was staring right at it as I approached.

Once I got next to him, he told me to kneel down on the floor. I wondered how I would spot him, but I knew nothing about weightlifting, so I just followed his orders. From my place on the floor, I looked up at his face and waited for his directions.

“I want you to stop staring at my cock and start sucking it,” he said. He pulled his dick from his pants and held it in his hands, pointed it at my mouth. Fear swept through my body. My first inclination was to make some fag comment and threaten to kick his ass, but I could not deny that my cock size had increased as he spoke. My mouth was watering. Though I had dreamed of it more than once in my life, I had not yet tasted cock.

I got up on my knees and took his dick into my hands. It was larger than mine and his body was so muscular. I licked my lips and put his dick in my mouth, closing my eyes and feeling as if I had broken a law. The sounds of our dorm-mates echoed throughout the hallway right outside our door, but inside our dorm, I pounded his cock down my throat and sucked his dick with all the excitement that had built up over my entire life. I grabbed his shaft and jerked it as I sucked. Tom put his hands on his weight bench and leaned back in ecstasy. I looked up as I sucked and saw his eyes roll back. For a rookie, I sucked a mean cock. At least that’s what I garnered from the look on his face.

In a few minutes, he announced he was going to cum, but I made no move to escape from his spunk. He opened his eyes—I felt them on me as I inhaled his cum and let it run down the back of my throat. When he was finished, he grabbed his towel and wiped his cock clean.

“You tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you,” he said.

From then on, we fooled around a lot. We’d skip class and say we wanted to watch a football game. Instead we sucked each other’s cocks or made out in the shower. He had a girlfriend—a nice curvy little blond who was waiting back at home. I had a few college sluts who spent nights in our room and whom I never saw again. In front of other people, Tom would call me a cocksucker in a typical frat boy tone. No one seemed to notice the smile that we shared after, inspired by the fact that I was indeed a cocksucker. This double life in college carried on after. Even as I dated women, I hooked up with men. Even as I got married and bought a big house in Connecticut, I kept my job in Manhattan for the “perks.”

“Naturally,” I told my wife, “I’ll need an apartment in Manhattan where I could stay when I have a late night at work.”

She agreed and didn’t bat an eye as I rented a small place in the city. Even as I handed the landlord the deposit, I knew the place would serves as my secret fuck shack. This is where I would bring all the Toms—the Dicks and the Harries too.

The first time I used the apartment excuse, I didn’t even work late. In fact, I left early and felt the need for a drink, something to give me the courage to find what I knew I wanted—some hot young guy who had the body of Tom, someone who would lean back and let me suck his cock. See, over time, I had perfected the art of the blow job. I attacked it with the same enthusiasm that earned me an almost perfect score on the bar.
The Latin bartender on Seventh Avenue quickly made my acquaintance. Too nervous to make my move on any of the guys at the bar, I drank one drink after another trying to build enough courage to approach someone. They kept pairing off and leaving, while I remained at the bar, ordering another one from my Latin bartender. Before I knew it, he was announcing last call and making change for the last few patrons in his place. He waited to take my money last. Only the two of us were left in the bar, and as I left a twenty on the bar for a tip, he asked if I wanted to hang around and get a little action. I nodded and he came around the bar and grabbed my cock through my pants. It had been solid for a few hours now.

“Ever been topped?” he asked me. I shook my head no. With Tom, there had never been any intercourse—only blow jobs and hand jobs. The bartender kissed me on the lips and led me over to the pool table. He told me to get up on it and lie back. I followed his directions and relaxed as he undid my pants and pulled them of with my boxers.

Under the lights, we petted for an hour before he told me to suck on his cock and get it good and sloppy. I did, and he praised me the entire time I sucked, telling me how good it felt and how I could suck his dick anytime. He told me I had a natural talent, and eventually he pulled his cock out of my mouth and told me to lie back and put my legs in the air. He pulled my ass to the edge of the pool table and then he thrust his cock into me. I yelped and he thrust again. I let him pound me as my mind traveled all over his body. I remember his erect nipples and his tight abs, the feeling of his jizz running down my asshole.

The next time I stopped into the bar, he didn’t charge me for most of my drinks. Remembering our night gave me the balls to approach a young man who was the center of attention in a large group of young men. He was the life of the party, making everyone laugh. I saw a few other guys checking him out, and I decided I had to try. When he approached the rest room, I stopped him and asked him if I could join him. Inside a grimy stall, he leaned against a metal partition as I took his dick out of his pants and proceeded to suck.

“Damn,” was all he could say.

I convinced him to leave his friends and come back to my apartment. I sucked his cock until he came all over my face and hands. And then at his request, I let him top me. He was not as big as my Latin bartender, and I did not yelp. I told him his cock was amazing, and as he was about to finish, I sucked him completion.

In the morning, I went to work and he asked me to drop him off. Driving from his directions, I was surprised to end up at NYU. My new friend jumped from my car, shut the door, and then leaned into the open window.

“Call me sometime,” he said. “Maybe I’ll meet up with you at the bar or something.”

I gave him $50 and told him to stop by the apartment if he ever wanted to fool around. On my way to work, I called my wife to let her know I was hitting the office early. Since then, I’ve had several male visitors to my apartment. Word has spread throughout my little bar that I give the best blow jobs in Manhattan. My Latin bartender slips me drinks and I occasionally see him nod in my direction when guys ask him a secret question. I’ve hooked up with a couple guys at work, and I’ve even called an escort once or twice when I didn’t find anyone to my liking.

Sometimes, I imagine running into Tom and showing him how far I’ve come since “spotting” him on his weight bench all those years ago.